This is Caveman News Network, the news we want when you least want it. I'm your host Greg Bonehead, and I will be bringing you this useful news today.
First up today a cave school was attacked by Slingshot wielding terrorists. Our in field reporter Elise Clonk is there to bring us first hand what went on; Elise?
Elise: “Thanks Greg, and I am standing here where not two hours ago there were weapons of mass destruction hurling boulders at the local cave school. Shortly after the first round left eh long arm catapult, Men riding savage donkeys burst through the doors and started shooting with assault slingshots.”
Greg: “Elise, can you tell us how many were killed?”
Elise: “So far the body count is unknown. When the police arrived the Terrorist shot them first, and then went on to kill unknown amounts of beavers and foxes.”
Greg: “Where any Cave children hurt?”
Elise: “No, however the Terrorists did read them stories that involved Dragons, and blood, and many children are suffering from trauma.”
Greg “How were the terrorists stopped?”
Elise: “They um, well they actually went home.”
Greg: “We will now take you to our local expert of criminal psychology, John Ugg, are you there?”
John: “Yes, Thank you Greg.”
Greg: “John, in your opinion, can you explain how this all came around?”
John: “Well, I would say that it has to do with this country's rampant allowing citizens to carry assault Slingshots. Slingshots have been the cause of dozens of deaths over the years, and the fact that anyone can own one has lead to many unsavory types such as these terrorists to get a hold of them.”
Greg: “Are you suggesting a slingshot ban?”
John: “Well, not exactly, one does not want to take away freedoms from out people, but I do think that an all around restriction of Arms for general public will be necessary, leaving only registered law enforcers with such devices to protect themselves from savages such as these.”
Greg: “Thank you John for sharing your thoughts, now we will turn you over to what our President had to say.”
“We are very sorry to all those animals who lost their lives in the shooting today. We will think about them for the next few days.” -President Bonk
Greg: “Thank you for tuning in, in a few minutes we will cover how the Banana Peel inc Banana rig explosion has cause hundreds of golfers to lose their tournaments, and later we will cover the British tea parties held by the Victorian radicals. Stay tuned, this is Caveman News Network.
Showing posts with label Political. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Political. Show all posts
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
You got a room full of toddlers...
Who want to watch a movie. Specifically they want to see "Cars". you do not have "Cars", so you try to think of a plan. First you try to convince them there are other movies, but in all honesty, you know that won't work, and if you outright refuse, they will go mad and start throwing temper tantrums, and next thing you know, you will be sprinting out the door to save your life.
The truth is, you either have to go and look really hard for "Cars", or you'll have to trick them. you are tired, and you don't see why you should have to work this hard, so you go for tricking them. You look through your movies, and find a car chase movie. You tell them all that it was the car movie the wanted. they get all happy excited cheer you on, and get ready, and....
They realize you tricked them, and you find yourself running for your life.
This is not uncommon. In fact it is done probably every day. probably not in that way, but people trick little ones all the time. It is how they can avoid doing what the toddler wants, without the work of dealing with a tantrum. This mentality however doesn't end at the toddler stage. People wind up doing it their entire lives. They will do something that is showy, and makes them look good, but if they really had to work, you'd find them running.
The best of these tend to go undetected for years. Politicians are the most notable, because the really good ones make sure that the blame falls on the next guy in line. People are tricked in huge masses, and some of them are starting to wise up to the lies.
We have Politicians left and right, and anyone outside or in between, telling people how they envision America. Everyone has a different vision on the surface, but in all honesty they are one and the same: Control. One does not know always where they are lying, and where they are telling the truth, but we can know to look out for hidden meanings.
Just because something has cars, doesn't mean it IS "Cars". We need to be careful what we agree to in this country. We see Corporations committing fraud legally though licenses. Such as Microsoft limiting windows installations to two times on the same computer.
You may have "Purchased" it, but that doesn't mean anything with how law works today.
And Politicians, and corporations both use our broken Law system to win. they manipulate, point that they didn't lie, we simply misunderstood, and can take our money and run without providing the services they claimed. This is the kind of madness that will in the end destroy this country.
When everyone wises up, and riots.
The question is, when everyone wises up, will they bother to learn the truth? or will they just follow another liar?
The truth is, you either have to go and look really hard for "Cars", or you'll have to trick them. you are tired, and you don't see why you should have to work this hard, so you go for tricking them. You look through your movies, and find a car chase movie. You tell them all that it was the car movie the wanted. they get all happy excited cheer you on, and get ready, and....
They realize you tricked them, and you find yourself running for your life.
This is not uncommon. In fact it is done probably every day. probably not in that way, but people trick little ones all the time. It is how they can avoid doing what the toddler wants, without the work of dealing with a tantrum. This mentality however doesn't end at the toddler stage. People wind up doing it their entire lives. They will do something that is showy, and makes them look good, but if they really had to work, you'd find them running.
The best of these tend to go undetected for years. Politicians are the most notable, because the really good ones make sure that the blame falls on the next guy in line. People are tricked in huge masses, and some of them are starting to wise up to the lies.
We have Politicians left and right, and anyone outside or in between, telling people how they envision America. Everyone has a different vision on the surface, but in all honesty they are one and the same: Control. One does not know always where they are lying, and where they are telling the truth, but we can know to look out for hidden meanings.
Just because something has cars, doesn't mean it IS "Cars". We need to be careful what we agree to in this country. We see Corporations committing fraud legally though licenses. Such as Microsoft limiting windows installations to two times on the same computer.
You may have "Purchased" it, but that doesn't mean anything with how law works today.
And Politicians, and corporations both use our broken Law system to win. they manipulate, point that they didn't lie, we simply misunderstood, and can take our money and run without providing the services they claimed. This is the kind of madness that will in the end destroy this country.
When everyone wises up, and riots.
The question is, when everyone wises up, will they bother to learn the truth? or will they just follow another liar?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Worst Generation
I was doing stuff last night when I thought of something. But first I must explain myself here. Most of you have heard the term: “A man is only as good as his word.” Which means that a person is only as good as the promises they keep, even the little ones. And every little lie is a mark against him.
This got me thinking. Is our Generation then the worst the world has ever seen? Think about it. We are going to be a generation that lying is the norm, and that divorce will be the highest of any generation before.
So this Generation will be the great big black mark on world history centuries from now. People will read that we never kept our word on anything, that we did whatever we want without any care for others. We will be known for extremely high divorce rate, and for lawsuits over broken contracts, and nobody trusting anyone else.
I do not know what we can do about it, but be honest ourselves, and do not do anything to break contracts, or agreements. If enough of us do it we may be able to counter this overly dishonest Generation.
Anyone with me?
This got me thinking. Is our Generation then the worst the world has ever seen? Think about it. We are going to be a generation that lying is the norm, and that divorce will be the highest of any generation before.
So this Generation will be the great big black mark on world history centuries from now. People will read that we never kept our word on anything, that we did whatever we want without any care for others. We will be known for extremely high divorce rate, and for lawsuits over broken contracts, and nobody trusting anyone else.
I do not know what we can do about it, but be honest ourselves, and do not do anything to break contracts, or agreements. If enough of us do it we may be able to counter this overly dishonest Generation.
Anyone with me?
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