The unmarried Teenager's five rules for a happy Marriage

I have not posted in a long time. I have been writing and dealing with real life more. I also have been playing some video games.

Ok now to the blog post. I have noticed that there are a lot of marriage tip books, and they all are rather similar. They also are generally written by singles, or divorced people. So I have decided to jump on the bandwagon, and write..... a pamphlet because I do not have the patience to write the book, so here are your five tips for a happy marriage that you won't find in any other book.

1. Don't hate your spouse.
this I think is fairly clear, if you hate them you are likely to not get along with them. I know this may sound stupid: "Why would someone marry someone they hate?" I am going to say that it is mostly because people are selfish. Get off your rear end and help out.

2. Don't blow up their car.

I must stress this. If you blow up their car, they might wind up dead, and the marriage will definitely have a hard time succeeding. Even if you lucked out and they turned into a zombie.... Zombies are generally not well received at family reunions. Some restaurants also do not allow them. not to mention your spouse might get hungry and eat your brain.

3. Don't kill their pets.


The big ole' Lab dug up your garden, or the cat broke your new GPS? the simplest solution would be to shoot the animal, but that might make your spouse mad. Possibly even hostile. Pets are like dumb ugly smelly children that never learn any better, and you are not quite as affectionate towards. Ok so the personal attatchment ma not be that strong, but still.
(On the other hand if the animal takes to attacking your kids then it is generally acceptable to make them vanish mysteriously)

4. Don't blow up the neighbor's house.

Tired of hearing that awful reggae music cranked up to the point that your coffee is on the ceiling, and the windows are all broken? Some people may talk to their neighbors, but you are special, you take a pack of plutonium and stuff it in their windowsill. A few seconds later you blow up the house. (And if it really was a nuke, you also blew up the neighborhood including yourself) This will land you in jail, and make your spouse look bad too. No one want to look bad, and therefor you will have strained your relationship.

5. don't be a psychopath

read the above.



I hope that these carefully thought out issues that plague today's society may help someone in this world. If you think this guide will help anyone you know, please pass i on.